Will Of Thanatos

They never asked my name.
 That’s perfectly fine with me, though. My name doesn’t matter anymore. Now I’m a tool. A weapon. A pawn. You think that would make me feel angry, angry that I’m just some disposable, worthless thing in their eyes?
 It doesn’t.
 I was never useful before, not once in my life. Even my parents gave up on me. They were good people, don’t get me wrong, but even for them it reached a point where they knew that nothing could help me. A broken child grew into a fractured man. They never actively kicked me out, but the way they avoided my eyes and softly sobbed whenever I exited the room gave me all the hint I needed. I packed what little I had and took to the streets. I figured I had a fair shot, I mean, the other useless rejects found some way to scrape together an existence, right?
Winter hit hard. I had no shelter.
I was freezing to death on the sidewalk, under a considerable pile of snow. I could tell I was dying because I had stopped shivering five minutes ago. Strangely enough, I stopped caring, too. Freezing to death seemed like a nice way to go, I was numb and the snow felt like a big warm blanket, like the ones my parents used to drape over me as a child. The only downside I could see was the probability of people tripping over me. I tried to stand up, but my body refused. I must have shook at least a bit, because I was noticed. Multiple hands began brushing snow off my freezing soon to be corpse. They wore big, woolen jackets and thick gloves made from what seemed to be leather. They never even said anything, just lifted my frozen frame and threw me into their van. I fell asleep four four hours.
When I woke, most of what I felt was pain. Indescribable pain. The rest of it was confusion, as well as slight sadness. Did I make it to heaven? Is this hell? Why is hell so bright? The answer seemed to be a resounding no, on all accounts. I was on a table. I also didn’t have any limbs. That should’ve bothered me, I guess, but I had already given up on existence. Being limbless didn’t seem too terrible. But then I started itching. A horrible, relentless itch on my nose. It was agony. But that’s how I met an unexpected friend. All eight of her legs scampered up my face and, seemingly, stared into my eyes. She was a pleasant shade of black, with shaggy hairs sprouting at various angles. I spoke up, feeling she could hear me. 
“Hello. Could you please itch my nose?”
She blinked once, then scampered to my nose and used her fangs to delicately scratch my skin. She then crawled slowly down to my stomach.
“Thank you, friend. That itch was driving me crazy.”
She clicked a short response, then closed her eyes. A door opened to my right, and she rose and spun in what seemed to be a blink’s worth of time. She then gauged the threat to be minimal, and settled back into the fabric of my gown.
“Ah, I see you’ve met the hierachnid. Quite friendly, no?”
“She got rid of the itch on my nose. I owe her my life.” I said, with utter certainty. 
“Erm… yes. Well, I’m glad you don’t hate her, as she seems quite smitten with you. I take it you wonder where you are?”
“I was dying in the snow a few hours ago. I’m not now. The rest is irrelevant.”
“A true go-getter attitude. Well, you’ll be happy to note that your new limbs are coming in soon. Any preference of color?”
“As close to my skin tone as you can find.”
“Ah. Better for camouflage, I suppose. I’ll knock you back out until the procedure is done. I’ve heard from other patients the procedure is… Unpleasant, otherwise.”
He retrieved a needle, and moved to plunge it into my shoulder. She beat him to it, and before I could even register it happened the needle was broken and sunk into the flesh of the doctor’s arm. She hissed a warning, her hairs bristling.
“My my.” The doctor said, removing the needle. “Could you please tell her to calm down? She seems agitated.”
“It’s alright, Grace. He’s giving me anesthesia.” I said, using the name I thought of for her. She clicked twice, then settled back down onto my chest, still slightly bristled and ready for action.
“Let’s try this again, shall we?” He said, grabbing a new needle. He plunged it into my shoulder and, as promised, I was out like a light.
-end chapter one-

Hodgepodge

It’s slipping out.
Rage I hold inside, concealed with passivity, tears at the seams of my skin and fucks the holes. I am nothing but tatters.
Get away from me. I want to kill you. Get away from me. I will kill you. Get the fuck away from me. Pick at the scab until I bleed out.
Bury me under my sins. Dig through the shit and sweat and pus until I can’t see, can’t breath, can’t feel anything anymore.
Can’t you feel it? It’s so very close to you. It’s in your spine. Can’t you feel it wiggling? Writhing? Fighting? It’s waiting to be born.
Were you happy? Are you now? It festers in your soul. You’ll hear it soon when it cracks through your hollow bones only to be buried seven feet deep under nothing.
I rot while you laugh. You become the food, nutrition to feed growing rage. 
I feast.
— — —
They look at it and see ugliness. I see something quite different.
I see beauty.
They see waste, trash that takes space and gives nothing but odor in return.
I see workers that have done their job and wait, oh so patiently, to return to the elements, their weariness drifting on to new life.
They look and see sulfurous ash that has taken homes and lives from them. An object of hatred thrown by an uncaring mass.
I see gentle shades of grey, the quiet embrace of a father after the mother has gone to sleep, tender yet solemn.
They see polluted waters, creatures in the sea dying from the carelessness of bureaucracy.
I see a painter who shares his art with everything he touches, painting it a shimmering black.
I may be wrong. The things I see may not be beautiful, even horrible at times, yet that’s not the point.
For it is not about the beauty that is present, it’s the beauty you perceive.
— — —
Dig.
Tunnel into the soil so you may find your desiccated corpse, filthy with mud and sin. Uncover your own lies.
Dig deeper.
For here you lie, shamed and abandoned as the worthlessness you are. You were nothing.
Burrow.
Writhe your way deeper into your tomb. You belong there. You were a coward and a fool.
Bury.
Give up. There’s nothing left. What you cared about is gone. You’ve destroyed it.
Rot.
Decompose.
Begin anew.
— — —
-As heard from a broadcast on the radio (which was mostly unintelligible), between periods of lucidity-
… Inescapable agony, both physical and mental wind their way through your dreams and into your waking nightmares until…
-20 minute rant comprised of groans and sobs-
… Deliverance of divine light upon the unholy beasts of Satan’s wrath give way to…
-a brief period of silence-
… You don’t understand. I’m so sorry. I’m afraid I cannot teach you my child, for your mind…
-an hour of ragged, strained breathing-
… Stop. Now. Not later, not tomorrow, now. Or else I swear that the hatred…
-another brief period of silence-
… Are you still listening? Good. They’re watching you. As soon as you turn off the radio and go to bed they will enter your room and…
-it ends abruptly then, 5 hours later-
… Don’t worry. I’m watching you, too.
-end broadcast-
— — —
Gradually decaying far beyond itself
Ticking endlessly, wordlessly, meaninglessly
Growing closer, sinking farther
Deeper and deeper
Sinking into murky blackness as it helplessly cries out
“Please”
A plea unanswered, because nothing could hear
Farther and farther and deeper and closer
Thoughts fleeing hopelessly when the mind loses the will to comprehend
Reaching the end, saying “it was worth it”
Was it really? You’r nothing now. Not even nothing. Waiting to fade.
Waiting to die, or waiting for life? Was it truly ever alive?
Was it really ever anything? Or was it waiting for death since it existed?
Was anything there to begin with? Nothing knows because there’s nothing to see.
Even closer, even farther
Drifting through limbo, fading from meaninglessness
— — —
It was five in the morning at a company party when I saw him last.
He was quite a sight, showing none of the excitement and vivaciousness towards life that he used to.
One look at his dull, nearly colorless eyes showed you how much of himself he had lost.
He wore a flowing black coat, woolen by the looks of it, that seemed to match the haggard expression on his bearded face like the shaggy feathers of a crow.
 He had a small white cap on his head that looked like it would belong to a child, but even that symbol of youth and happiness dulled when matched to the dismal state of its owner.
 Leaning against the wall, he was seemingly trying to slowly shove himself as far into a corner as possible. It was as if he wanted to sink slowly into the plaster and remove himself from existence, unable to deal with the matters at hand.
 Pulling out a cigarette and a lighter, he tried to bring the cigarette to his face and light it, but it brought him close enough to the verge of tears that you could see drops glistening, waiting to fall at any slight provocation. His arms sank as if the soul residing within him were slowly seeping out, whilst both cigarette and lighter fell to the ground uselessly. 
He then walked out, leaving the party in silence, saying nothing to anyone. Lost to the world.
Five weeks later, he was found in his apartment dead, bearded and rotting after he had ran out of food and water to sustain himself. On his computer read a simple note, saying in one tiny, helpless sentence, everything he had to say.
“I sure messed up, didn’t I?”
— — —
You’ve tried to hide
But I’m inside you
You’ve tried running
I’m three steps faster
You’ve tried to end it
But I’m not done yet
You’ve threatened me
With fangs brittle as ice
I’ve seared my name into every single crevice
A constant reminder that I am here
You feel me underneath your skin
And I crawl with each breath you take
I wait with the patience of a vulture
And watch you rot from the inside
But I’m not done yet, not yet
Because I’m never finished
You will feel me again
You will fear me again
I will destroy you again
Then I will build you again
And destroy you again
And again
And again

— — —
Digging further into tender flesh to find brittle bone
Deeper and deeper, pain deeper than the words that describe
Flaying the skin, promises of agony sing through to the soul
Cut to bone, sounds wasted on the sane
It feels
It seethes
It writhes
Trying desperately
Futilely 
To hide what is left from the all seeing eye
Weak attempts at resistance incite a more beautiful song
Agony screeches out, a symphony reviled by the simplicity of man
The slumber ends and the dreaded awaken
— — —
I am that which you do not know.
Look upon me and feel your skin crawl with…
Fear?
Realization?
Acceptance?
You do not know, and so I am.
I am that which haunts your worst nightmare.
Think of me and become…
Terrified?
Hysterical?
Curious?
All these are true, and so my existence is justified.
I am death. Think of me and…
Despair?
Hope?
Yearn?
I am unknown, thus I am your worst nightmare. I am inevitable, and so my existence is justified.
— — — — — —
If you got to the end here, then congratulations! You’ve read through my most current writings (discluding chapter stories I may or may not work on in the future) which I felt I should post, considering my absence from this blog. I’ll try to put any future stories I deem worthy here in the future. So till next time, this is Ultracww, signing off!

Double trouble feature

A moment of silence
To cut through the haze of arrogance, of insolence, of undue pride
Let glory seep in to its true heir where it belongs, crowned on a throne of dignity and grace
They stand and stare, for that is all they can do. Mouths agape, they wonder in amazement who, or what, has presented themselves
They need not wonder long, for the answer is evident before it was ever asked and resounds through the halls like a champion’s victory
The king has returned.

I figured both of these were to short for individual posts, so I figured, “hey, why not post them together?”

Oh yeah and that whole not posting in a few months

Sorry bout that

Hope you enjoyed!

Double trouble feature (v.2)

They look at me and then avert their eyes
Because I’m the liar, right?
They stare then they forget
Am I unimportant?
They think I was never a part of them
Was I simply nothing?
It’s as if I never existed, they go about their ways
Is it over, or had it ever began?
“You ask too many questions”
Should I simply not know?
I grow old, and they do too
Is it time to let go?
All that’s left is memories of the past
It’s time, right?
They pass, and my time comes
Will anyone remember?

Yeah I know

Told ya not to expect anything

Till next time, ultra out.

A Darker Turn

Oh this is just great. Just fucking perfect.
Here I am, minding my business as the ruler of hell (not the most illustrious job, mind you) and I get news of this? This is… Fuck me.
So, apparently, my counterpart God has gone crazy, and is kicking everyone out of heaven, causing massive chaos on earth. People are dying left and right, and we aren’t fit to hold good people, so we have to turn people away, resulting in more cases of paranormal activity. See this is what happens when someone doesn’t do their fucking job. Everything gets messed up, the world turns on its head, I get way too much traffic. 
You know what? No. I’m not going to fucking stand for this… This… Bullshit. I’m going to go up there, bust down the gates of heaven, and rip God a new one. You hear that grandpa sparkles?! Good old lucifer’s gonna set you back where you belong!
… Or so I thought.
When I got to the surface, as I suspected people freaked the fuck out. Of course you’d freak out when the lord of the demons walks the earth with a gigantic sword (for protection heheh) and a creepy smile on his face. And of course they’d start firing their tanks at me. It’s only normal. Stings a bit, but it’s normal.
What I DIDN’T expect, however, was all the angels floating on earth.
So I walk up to one and say hey. He looks just as confused as I am.
“Hey, Michael! What’s going on?” 
“Lucifer? It’s been a while. How ya been doing?”
“Oh just peachy. I was GOING to come up to talk some sense into God, but look what I’ve walked into. What’s going on up here?”
“For the love of all that’s holy, the lord’s gone mad. He just… Lost his shit. For no reason. At all. Throwing holy light everywhere and screaming, “IMSICKOFTHISSHITGRAAAH!”. I mean, being the ruler of heaven must get tedious after time, but c’mon. Throwing everyone out? Then he left us to take care of the leftovers. It’s bullshit. Birth rates have dropped exponentially since we haven’t had the time to mold any babies, and people are freaking out. Granted, I’m sure you can tell, being the ruler of hell and all. Must’ve been a ton of extra traffic due to death rates not dropping. I know the earth is taking it hard too. Poor old Gaia can hardly bear all the commotion of the dead.”
“Knew the fucker went nuts. Well, I’ll have to see you later, Michael, I’ve gotta go snap some sense into the glorified lightbulb. See ya!”
“Catch you later satan! Maybe over coffee sometime!”
And I launch into the sky, black, shadowy wings tearing from my back (I know it’s showy but how could I not), and tear a hole in the sky to get into heaven.
… It looks like shit. 
The place has streaks of light flowing all throughout it in a messy, throw-it-just-anywhere fashion. God. Has went bat. Shit. Crazy.
I can hear him inside the gates yelling in the old voice, “I’M NOT A HOTEL! WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE TAKING GOOD PEOPLE INTO MY DINING HALL, NOT PRUDISH PRICKS WHO SOUND LIKE THEY HAVE A STICK 5 MILES UP THEIR ASS!”
Okay. Now I think I see what’s going on.
I enter the gates and make my way to Valhalla, God’s hall for champions, and hear more loud booming.
Gods still throwing a hissy fit, eh? Well I know how to stop that.
I knock on the door.
“Yo God. It’s me, Lucifer. Got some time?”
“FUCK OFF SATAN!”
Heh, wrong choice of words, boyo.
I kick down the door to see a raging God, throwing everything everywhere and trying to obliterate things with light spheres. Good thing he made those near indestructible when he created Valhalla, or else this place would be ruins by now.
“THE HELL?”
God’s vision snaps to me. Good, that’s where I want it.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?!?!”
“Oh, I just came here to stop your hissy fit and maybe beat some sense into you.” I say, polishing my sword. “Seems you’ve forgotten your role, friend, and I’m going to make you remember.”
“OVER MY UNENDING SOUL!”
“Alright.”
And he swings at me. I dodge it easily, swinging the sword into his ribcage and sending him flying into the wall.
“ILL DESTROY YOU!”
“Many have tried, all of them failed. Could you be the-OOF!”
He ends my monologue with a flying kick to the face, having pushed off the wall.
“Damn! That hurt you son of a bitch!”
I yell, smashing the blade into his jaw in a two-handed uppercut.
He retaliates by using an enhanced version of gravity to slam his fist into my skullcap. I can tell, this fight’ll be a long one.
… Or maybe God will just burst suddenly into tears. That could happen too.
“Hey, what’s wrong big man?”
“It’s… It’s been too much. There’s too many things going on up here and the brunt of the work falls on me! Controlling the seasons, the sunrise, the sunset, evaluating warriors into Valhalla, too many things! I never get a second to myself!”
Firstly, I slap him.
“Ow! What was that for?”
“Only a coward gives up mid fight. You taught me that.”
Secondly, I slap him.
“The hell?! What was that one for?!”
“Personal tragedies are no reason to kick everyone out of heaven! Have you no empathy dear father!? Everyone, including the dead and the Angels, are going stark raving mad down there! Nobody can accomplish anything with you throwing a temper tantrum up here!”
Thirdly, I offer a hand to help him up.
“Here. Get your ass off the ground, big lug.”
I help him off the ground, and he sighs.
“What should I do? I need time to myself for a bit, but who’s going to fill my place while I’m gone? Michael can’t take over the job, he’s got his own damned duties, and there’s no-one else I can trust to hold the position while I’m gone…”
“You seem to have forgotten the ace in the hole, my friend.”
“Hmm?”
“The old gods, Zeus. You know, the ones you sent to slumber because you felt you could take on the job alone?”
“… Fuck me I totally forgot about them.”
“Just wake them back up and let them take care of the jobs for a while. They’ve done it in the past, they can do it now.”
“Yeah! Finally I can have some free time!”
“Hell yeah! Hey, wanna swing by hell and chug a few? Y’know, to celebrate the start of a brand new age!”
“Sure! Just let me go and wake them up…”
And it was all fine from there. Me and God went back down to hell, at the amazement of the mortals, and put down some devil’s mead (real strong stuff, too much so for mortals.). Finally, all was back to normal, the dead were roped back into heaven and assorted properly, and all was well again. 
And finally, God got some free time to himself.

Authors note: Whew! Been a while! Ya missed me? Of course you have, who am I kidding. Hope you don’t mind the more jokey and overall non-serious tone of this one, but hey, it’s just what popped into my brain. My mind be the pen, these thoughts the ink, this site the paper. Till next time, this is Ultra, signing off once more!

Et Finale

(Fast forward to Saturday, smoke is standing on a podium with a microphone in front of his face and many a reporter in the crowd. Cameras flash within the mob, creating the facade of it being like an old presidential speech.)
“Now then. I shall begin to take questions starting wiiiiith… You, in the Black and Tan sweatshirt.”
“Yes, sir, what is your real name?”
“My real name is smoke. I abandoned the other one, alongside my weaker self, long ago. Next you, in the red tank top.”
“We’ve seen what seems to be… Powers, while we are around you. Extremely volatile ones. Where did these come from?”
“A horrible experiment bred to create a special task force. I was one of the lucky few who got a hybrid dose of it. What you see before you… Is the outcome… You, green pants.”
“What happened to the army which assisted you in the attack on the White House?”
“They were initiated into the army and given a higher echelon of privilege than most, my special task force. Final question, you in the yellow hoodie.”
“What are your plans for the future of our country?”
“I’m so glad you asked. And since you did, I will give an honest answer… We, my dear friends… Are going to burn the rest of civilization to the ground. We shall leave no rock unchecked. No town unsearched. No land unscorched.”
After all, nobody ever said I was the good guy. There aren’t any left. Wanna know why?
It’s because the only way to rise to power, is to walk on the corpses of those who trust you.
~End

Now then! I had fun with this one! Took me a while (I’m slow and lazy don’t patronize me) but I got it done! Till next time folks, it’s ultracww, obligatory exit phrase!

The Confrontation

(After unlocking the armory in the basement of the prison, smoke was quickly appointed the chief of the prisoners, deemed to do with them as he saw fit. In their words, they had no other cause to rally to, so they entrusted their fates to the one who they felt they could trust. Smoke quickly saw to it that all of the former “convicts” were as armed as they could be, armored as they could be, and loyal as they could be. Smoke, however, assured them that he need only wear the warden’s cap so they could easily identify him. All in all, he is in charge of a force of just under a half a million, all armed to the teeth.)
And guess where we’re heading now? That’s right. The White House itself. Task force A, with a total of 100,000 soldiers, is the anti air brigade, seeing to it that no aircraft is left to the sky. Task force B is the anti vehicle squad, consisting of 100,000 soldiers. They are to set mines and spikes along the road once my squad clears the perimeter, as well as take care of any tanks that may come our way. And the final Task force, of course is mine. Consisting of 220,490 soldiers, we are to swarm the White House and eliminate any forces that may be in, around, or nearby, as well as securing the president. But oh, the fun part lies within: guess who’s securing the president?
Yours truly.
Alright, time to get this show on the road.
“Task force A, do you copy?”
“Yes sir, we are in position and have our eyes towards the sky.”
“Task force B, do you copy?”
“Yes sir! We are in position, waiting for your go ahead!”
“Alright. Team! Are you ready?!”
“YEAAAAAAAH!”
“Well then, no time for sweet talking, let’s go kick some ass!”
And on that, we swarm the grounds.
Heavy troops, accompanied by turrets are waiting on the lawn, yet not for long…
(Smoke flicks his wrist and the men on turrets are enveloped in darkness and dragged away)
Too easy.
(The heavy troopers open fire)
“TAKE THAT YOU FUCKING CONVICTS! BURN IN HELL!”
“WE’LL MEET YOU THERE FUCKERS!”
(Smoke’s soldiers open fire, and after a long firefight, a total of 59,000 soldiers are left)
“WE LIVE! WE REMAIN UNCONQUERABLE!”
“Squad B, move into position.”
“Roger!”
“Team, secure the perimeter. I’ll take care of what’s inside.”
“Captain!”
And with that, I make my way inside. I am met with no opposition -sadly- and make my way over to the office where the president rests his sorry ass.
(Smoke walks into the office and is met by two body guards, standing beside a seemingly cool and collected president.)
“Oh? I’m surprised your not cowering in your shoes, silently pissing yourself under your desk. Do you wish to meet death head on, or are you just that stupid?”
“Hmph. I had such great hopes for you, too. I thought you were smarter than this, smoke. You’re not the only “special” one. Do you really think I’d do that experiment just for fun, or do you think I got to power just by luck?”
(Shadows begin to creep up smoke’s leg, until they stop at his knees)
“Huh? What in the-”
“My good lord. You really are stupid, aren’t you?”
(A fist rises from the darkness, striking the president and knocking him into the shadows)
“You… How did you…”
“Did you really think I was just sitting around in that prison? Biding my time? No. I was practicing, oh gracious president, or should I say, Jacob Farley, head scientist of the Herculean project? I practiced, because of what you did to me. You did THIS to me, to innocent civilians because you want power. Fame. Security. You did this for no-one but you, and that’s why this has to end. Your time is over, Jacob Farley. Now die like the coward you are.”
“No… No…… NO!!!”
(The shadows envelope Jacob and grinding sounds can be heard emanating from inside)
“GRRRPHLABLMMMMFUERRPLB!!!”
(The shadows skitter away, leaving only Jacobs horror-ridden face, which smoke picks up by the hair)
Now then, Mr. President, time to announce your predecessor!
(Smoke walks over to the presidential broadcasting station and sits in his chair. Smoke then inserts the key and powers the station up)
Time to put on a show.
“Ahem. My fellow Americans, I am here for my next daily speech of blah blah blahdy blerr… Just kidding! It’s smoke again, coming live from the White House! See, the president saw fit to step down from power and guess who’s next in line as his predecessor? None other than yours truly! See, why not ask him yourself? (Smoke lifts Jacob’s head unto the table). And just think, anybody who wants to question whether or not I should be in power can end up just like him! Now listen and listen close. Citizens of America. You don’t get to hide anymore. This country is mine now, and things are going to change. No more fear. No more ignorance. No more hiding in the shadows. Interview will be on Saturday. Anyone wants to question me? That’s your chance.”
(Smoke removes the key, powering the system down.)
Now then. Let the real work, begin.